Demob Happy

Less interesting than watching 90 minutes of an inconsequential end of season La Liga match.

4/10

As a football supporter and a fan of daring and original cinema I was genuinely excited at the prospect of Douglas Gordon and Philippe Parreno’s 21st Century Portrait of Zinedine Zidane. With 17 cameras trained on the great French midfielder, I was expecting a truly revealing insight into the mind of a professional sportsmen - at least that’s what the filmmakers have sold this film as. Instead we only see what we already know footballers do: sweat and spit alot, harry opponents, foul, dribble and snipe at the ref. In terms of sporting insight we certainly understand less about Zidane’s famed footballing intelligence than we would be watching the game on television. By focusing on the player only, we can’t see how his contribution affects the game globally, what marks him out a master tactician.

The filmmakers seem to have gambled on Zidane’s iconic, brooding look on carrying the film alone, buoyed by some moody incidental music by Scottish post rockers Mogwai. But the dirge-like score is less interesting than the sound of the crowds watching the game, that have seemingly been mixed with more thought than the images themselves. We are treated to a few of Zidane’s words - albeit in subtitle only - in specific reference to the ways that the noise from the spectators permeates the player’s consciousness. More insight like this might have raised this experiment above the mundane, but unfortunately such pearls of wisom are in a distinct minority. In all, this is exceptionally tedious. Less interesting, in fact, than watching the full 90 minutes of an inconsequential end of season La Liga match - which this was.

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